New Years Resolutions…

Last year, I made several New Year’s Resolutions.  And like the rest of the United States of America- I failed pretty miserably.  I’d like to think I failed because I had too many resolutions, so it was hard to focus.

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The only plus side to this was that I stopped paying the bills because I told Husband that I would have a nervous breakdown if I had one more household responsibility.  I told him he would either need to start making dinner every night or pay the bills.  He quickly took hold of the checkbook, hoping he could reign in my mega trips to Target.

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So- that was really the only plus to 2012.  I certainly did not lose the baby weight- I’m almost the same exact number I was this time last year (mind you I had just had a 6 week old baby this time last year).  I didn’t take a photo every day (seriously- WTF was I thinking trying to keep up with this goal?).

My standards were way too high.  And Lord knows that I need an attainable goal.  That’s why this year, my goal is simple.  And very selfish.  Eh- whatever.  I just want to be really hot again.  Cause I look like a total case of Mom Jeans right now.  I realize that I have stretch marks and I’m not going to rock a bikini again until after I have my tummy tuck (don’t worry- my surgery will be scheduled as soon as that last baby pops out).  I realize that I’m older and genetics are not as easy to fight as they were four years ago.  But Jesus, how did I get this way?  Maybe it had something to do with the cookies, soda, fried food, ugh diet.  Yeah, that sucked.  As shallow as it sounds, I feel like if I lose some lbs, everything else will feel better.  I hate my job.  But if I’m skinny, I won’t hate it anymore, right?  I hate getting dressed.  But if I’m skinny, I won’t hate it anymore, right?  I hate going to the beach.  But if I’m skinny, I won’t hate it anymore, right?  You get my drift?  Yes, I’m shallow.  I know.

I swear I feel VERY shallow, but truth be told, I don’t really need want anything else.  My kids are fine (they’re being raised by the wolf pack).  My marriage is fine (yes, dear, just do whatever they hell I say).  And we have enough money to get by (well, only if I cut back on my Target spending to once a month- gulp).  I’m being selfish, because it’s the only thing that I really have a lot of fucking control over.  And ohmygod, I’m a control freak.  So- here we go.

I bought a Nike Fuel Band, because it’s like my own personal cheerleader.  I know it sounds cliche, but I am very motivated when I can see progress continually.  I cannot run without some type of measurement.  I cannot lose weight without checking my scale a few (okay, several hundred) times I week.  It’s just me.  I’m competitive with myself.  I don’t hate working out, but I do hate eating right.  That’s going to the be the challenge this year.  I need to overhaul my WHOLE fucking diet.  Yippee.  I can’t wait to eat chicken, chicken, and salads with chicken!

So.  Here goes nothing.  Keep me accountable world.

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